Guess who's thirty today....
That would be THIS GUY.
Apparently, my life has just begun (cool it with the Carpenters, already!), so I'm but a mere child, a wee bairn! I'm loving life right now. Sure everything isn't hunky dorey, but when is it ever? Really? While I realize that this sentiment isn't entirely true, what's ringing in my head right now is Ewan McGregor singing, "All you need is love!" in Moulin Rouge. I suppose I love that movie because it's motto "Freedom! Beauty! Truth! Love!" resonates profoundly with me. Perhaps someday I'll go to France and write something "spectacular! spectacular!" After all, what are the chances of unconscious Argentinians falling through my roof here?
My mother told me that thirty years ago today, she & Dad were on Cloud Nine. They had a boy! I realize this might be hard to imagine, but when I was born, ultrasounds were not so very common - in fact, I don't think we had any idea about whether my younger sisters would actually be sisters until they came. Mom was convinced they'd have another boy, as Amy grew out much the same way I did. But I was fated to have four sisters, and such as it is, I kinda like 'em. They're swell!
One of the curious conversations to manifest itself at my party came along when talking with Amy & Sarah (and others) about some of my earliest memories which all center around Amy's birth. I remember all sorts of random things that happened that week: including Mother snapping at me when I was packing my suitcase for an overnight trip to the Bragg's house. She was herself packing for the hospital, very pregnant, and I was an annoying child asking about every little thing I should take with me. There was the day at the pool with Mrs. Bragg, visiting her parents (the Hostetlers I think), watching TV in their basement, and hitting my head on the car when my dad came to pick me up. It was a busy day. The rest of the week was exciting, mostly because we were eager for Mom to come home with the new baby. I remember going to the hospital to see my new baby sister Amy Elizabeth, in a wheeled metal crib behind a big glass window surrounded by green tile, and trying to say her name for the first time came out "Amy Awblawf." It stuck, and continues to be one of her myriad familial nicknames to this day.... I was three and a half. Later that summer we went to Ohio where I met my Uncle Jack for the first time and rode the log flumes at Geauga Lake with him. He had red hair, and I thought that was cool.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Revelry, Retrospect, Resolve
So I had my thirtieth birthday party on Friday (a little premature, but that's okay, 'cause there really wasn't another time to have it)... One of the most wonderful nights of my life.
I can't begin to describe the overwhelming joy that I felt by the time everyone left and I headed to bed (around 3:30 AM!). So many surprises, so many beautiful people, so much love in the room. What a treat to have a friend from elementary school show up on my doorstep unannounced, and another friend who traveled from Richmond just to see me. Harvest was well-represented, and I'm so thankful for the many new friends I've made at McLean Pres. My sister Amy and her husband Brian came down from Ohio for the weekend, so we had a serious family affair with the "three little ones" as we have been dubbed by our parents. It was a grand convergence of the different worlds of Andrew. To quote Galinda, "I couldn't be happier!"
I'm still riding this wave of happiness, and thus looking very forward my parents visit this coming weekend, arriving Thursday for my actual birthday. My dad and I are planning an historic coastal Virginia excursion, and I'm pumped. Mom should be able to have some good shopping time with Sarah, and then, of course, Sunday will be church and then they'll be off. But in spite of the brevity, I'm thrilled that I am able to spend this "milestone" if you will with my family, and especially to have some serious quality time with my dad.
Adding to the excitement of last weekend, I had the opportunity to conduct the church choir for services on Sunday as our director was out of town. Not only did she give me the anthem with all kinds of mixed meter, but the choir performed an introit that I composed! Ironically, it's first public performance came almost exactly ten years from it's first draft back in '97 when I was still an undergrad. Now that's a pretty swell birthday present, if I do say so myself....
Beyond the merriment of natal celebrations, I think I'm coming to terms with the looming thirtieth anniversary of my birth. I'm embracing it. One friend said to me, "Welcome to life with retrospect." And that, I think, has to be one of the more profound statements on reaching thirty that I've ever heard. Indeed, it's as if I'm suddenly able to see through the past rather than dwell in it. Now, I'm sure that I'll have lapses of regret, given my tendencies toward a melancholic dispostion, but I am altogether resolved to "forget those things which are behind, and press toward the mark." I've grown tired of my fear, my passivity, my pathetic evasion of reality and of life. My past does not define me, and I can move beyond all of that to enjoy a life that is rich, resolved, and renewed.
I've a full heart. And there you have it.
I can't begin to describe the overwhelming joy that I felt by the time everyone left and I headed to bed (around 3:30 AM!). So many surprises, so many beautiful people, so much love in the room. What a treat to have a friend from elementary school show up on my doorstep unannounced, and another friend who traveled from Richmond just to see me. Harvest was well-represented, and I'm so thankful for the many new friends I've made at McLean Pres. My sister Amy and her husband Brian came down from Ohio for the weekend, so we had a serious family affair with the "three little ones" as we have been dubbed by our parents. It was a grand convergence of the different worlds of Andrew. To quote Galinda, "I couldn't be happier!"
I'm still riding this wave of happiness, and thus looking very forward my parents visit this coming weekend, arriving Thursday for my actual birthday. My dad and I are planning an historic coastal Virginia excursion, and I'm pumped. Mom should be able to have some good shopping time with Sarah, and then, of course, Sunday will be church and then they'll be off. But in spite of the brevity, I'm thrilled that I am able to spend this "milestone" if you will with my family, and especially to have some serious quality time with my dad.
Adding to the excitement of last weekend, I had the opportunity to conduct the church choir for services on Sunday as our director was out of town. Not only did she give me the anthem with all kinds of mixed meter, but the choir performed an introit that I composed! Ironically, it's first public performance came almost exactly ten years from it's first draft back in '97 when I was still an undergrad. Now that's a pretty swell birthday present, if I do say so myself....
Beyond the merriment of natal celebrations, I think I'm coming to terms with the looming thirtieth anniversary of my birth. I'm embracing it. One friend said to me, "Welcome to life with retrospect." And that, I think, has to be one of the more profound statements on reaching thirty that I've ever heard. Indeed, it's as if I'm suddenly able to see through the past rather than dwell in it. Now, I'm sure that I'll have lapses of regret, given my tendencies toward a melancholic dispostion, but I am altogether resolved to "forget those things which are behind, and press toward the mark." I've grown tired of my fear, my passivity, my pathetic evasion of reality and of life. My past does not define me, and I can move beyond all of that to enjoy a life that is rich, resolved, and renewed.
I've a full heart. And there you have it.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Laying Aside Every Weight
I was writing to a friend of mine, and it seems that much of what I said had serious blog potential. Here's hoping I'm right:
...Now that I'm turning 30, I'm oh so reflective about the state of affairs of my life, and I'm discovering a new-found resolve. I think perhaps this past year has been one of the hardest years of my life: the struggle, yes, but...for the first time in my life, I really began to confront the darkness of my past, of my lost hopes and unrealized dreams, of the painful wounds of family and friends.... In His goodness, however, God faithfully provided.
I do still struggle, yes. Often times it does feel much like surviving. I was hit with something profound my roommate mentioned the other night when we were talking. He talked of how the battle against sin must be waged because the stakes are so high: either sin will die, or I will die. I must put to death the deeds of the flesh. So with that, I resolved to put away the sin that so easily entangles, make a fresh start (how convenient: I'm starting a new decade!), and cut off those ties to my sin. I've held on to vestiges of my past, thinking that I'll be okay. Obviously not - though I didn't realize it until just recently. I've been fortunate to have a roommate who has demonstrated true Christian brotherhood to me in a way that I never thought I would know. I've often felt like an outsider, and ironically, most profoundly in much of Christendom. Christians often just don't quite know how to deal with different people, whether they're just a bit odd or broken more than the average sinner. But no need for commentary on the modern church.... I'm stepping out of my past, out of my shame, and fixing my eyes upwards. At least, I'm...trying to make the necessary changes in my life to embrace my standing as a son of God so that I can become a man of God.
...Now that I'm turning 30, I'm oh so reflective about the state of affairs of my life, and I'm discovering a new-found resolve. I think perhaps this past year has been one of the hardest years of my life: the struggle, yes, but...for the first time in my life, I really began to confront the darkness of my past, of my lost hopes and unrealized dreams, of the painful wounds of family and friends.... In His goodness, however, God faithfully provided.
I do still struggle, yes. Often times it does feel much like surviving. I was hit with something profound my roommate mentioned the other night when we were talking. He talked of how the battle against sin must be waged because the stakes are so high: either sin will die, or I will die. I must put to death the deeds of the flesh. So with that, I resolved to put away the sin that so easily entangles, make a fresh start (how convenient: I'm starting a new decade!), and cut off those ties to my sin. I've held on to vestiges of my past, thinking that I'll be okay. Obviously not - though I didn't realize it until just recently. I've been fortunate to have a roommate who has demonstrated true Christian brotherhood to me in a way that I never thought I would know. I've often felt like an outsider, and ironically, most profoundly in much of Christendom. Christians often just don't quite know how to deal with different people, whether they're just a bit odd or broken more than the average sinner. But no need for commentary on the modern church.... I'm stepping out of my past, out of my shame, and fixing my eyes upwards. At least, I'm...trying to make the necessary changes in my life to embrace my standing as a son of God so that I can become a man of God.
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